Living Agelessly

Dear Linda:

       My 82-year-old aunt was deeply religious until the loss of her son. She's angry that her child died before she did, and she's retreated from anything spiritual. Do you have any ideas for getting her back to the church she loved?

Hope

Dear Hope:

       Perhaps the most difficult crisis a mother faces is the loss of a child, regardless of their age. The emotions felt are the deepest and most debilitating. Your aunt will need time to grieve and move through the difficult stages that end eventually with acceptance.

       Encourage her to see the doctor for a check-up as she is probably struggling with depression. Symptoms to look for are: loss of interest in activities, changes in appetite, weight and sleeping patterns, irritability, feelings of sadness, hopelessness, worthlessness or guilt.

       Clinical depression (six months or more) actually changes thinking patterns, affects perceptions, and requires some form of treatment. Often, mothers who lose children feel like they have died as well.

       Emotional support is crucial. Your aunt needs understanding and empathy, so allow her to vent her anger and express her despair. Listen without judgment or criticism. Friends from church could offer this same solace and become the bridge for her return.

       Offer to pray for her, then with her. Scientific studies show that prayer is powerful
medicine—positively affecting high blood pressure, heart attacks, headaches and anxiety. Meditative and relaxing, prayer inhibits hormones that flow from adrenal glands in response to stress. An attitude of prayerfulness, caring and compassion, for the soul who needs it, sets the stage for healing.

       Bring church to your aunt. Play songs of worship when you visit and leave behind a compilation of her favorites. Invite the pastor to come to her home. The clergy is well-trained and experienced in helping those who suffer loss and need spiritual renewal and inner healing.

       Read The Transformation of the Inner Man, The Most Comprehensive Book on Inner Healing Today, and Healing the Wounded Spirit by John and Paula Sandford. Share your insights and be patient. Your loving care will bear fruit.