Parenting Grandchildrem

Dear Linda:

        My grandparents are raising my young cousins. They’re having trouble handling their needs and problems and don’t know where to turn. Any suggestions?

A worried Grandson

Dear Grandson:

       Parenting grandchildren is a growing phenomenon. According to the 2003 Census, 2.3 million grandparents nationwide are tackling the job—a challenging, child-rearing experience totally different from their own.

       Grandparents must contend with special physical, psychological and educational needs, emotional problems, and the interference of biological parents, often in trouble themselves. With less energy, physical strength and authority, grandparents are anxious, overworked, and prone to depression, particularly if they’re coping with the loss of their own children to drugs, incarceration or death.

       Emotions are conflicted. Grandparents adore their grandchildren, but resent the demands on their time and energy, the drain on an already reduced income, and the reality of a quiet retirement gone.

       The children are angry at their parents for the abandonment, resentful about being taken from their home, even if it’s characterized by abuse or neglect, and fearful about the future.

       Discipline, in particular, is difficult. Grandparents often choose extreme styles—too lenient as a way to compensate for the child’s shattered life or too demanding because they fear a repeat of the behavior of their own children.

       Help abounds, though, and great joy is possible. Grandparents must create an environment with structure and reasonable expectations, and establish predictable routines for eating nutritious meals together, completing homework, and doing chores. The children will begin to feel safe and a sense of belonging.

       Alert the teachers and counselors and enlist their help. Visit parenting.adoption.com/parents/grandparents-as-parents.html for custody, legal and financial information, and www.rce.rutgers.edu/pubs/pdfs/fs255.pdf for an extensive resource list.
Read Grandparents as Parents by Sylvie Toledo and Deborah Brown, Grandparenting with Love & Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay, and Raising our Children's Children by Deborah Doucette-Dudman, and write to the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) Grandparent Information Center, 601 E. Street, NW, Washington, DC 20049 for a free subscription to Parenting Grandchildren: A Voice for Grandparents.

Avoid Dehydration

Dear Linda:
       I’m as dried out as sandpaper. What began as a problem with small patches of dry skin has become a full-blown case of cracked and bleeding skin. I’d cry about it, but I don’t have any tears.

Scratchy in Saginaw

Dear Scratchy:

At the very minimum, you’re dehydrated, a condition that’s not only threatening but among seniors even dangerous enough to cause hospitalization. See your primary physician for a thorough exam.

Water, though not exactly the fountain of youth, is at least the “fount of life” and the most critical substance in the human body. Every organ, tissue and cell needs water to function. It transports nutrients, promotes digestion, and carries away waste. Controlling body temperature and ensuring proper blood volume, water keeps skin, mouth, nose and eyes moist.      

Preventing thirst is crucial, particularly for those over 60, as it suggests that the optimum level of water in our bodies (50-75% of weight) is already compromised. Seniors are at particular risk because as aging occurs, the amount of water in the body is reduced and the ability to recognize thirst signals greatly diminished.
     
If enough water isn’t ingested, the body will drain the body’s organs and tissues. Symptoms are: headache, fatigue, poor circulation, muscle spasms, kidney failure, and increased body temperature and pulse rate. Weakness will escalate, and labored breathing, dizziness, and even delirium can result.
     
A minimum of 64 ounces per day of water, the no-calorie beverage absorbed faster than any other, is the remedy. Milk, juices, soup, and at least five servings of fruits and vegetables (high water content) are good sources for additional fluid intake.
     
Modify processes that dry skin. Wear gloves when cleaning and take warm rather than hot showers. Slather on oils or lotions before completely drying hands or body to lock in moisture.
     
Read The American Dietetic Association's Complete Food & Nutrition Guide by RA Duyff for valuable information and resources.

Inflammation

Dear Linda:
      
I’ve read that inflammation’s the culprit causing disease and aging. Is this true and what can I do about it?

Red Hot in Dallas

Dear Red Hot:
      
Inflammation’s the body’s defense mechanism or healing response (the immune system). White blood cell chemicals are released into injured tissues to rid them of foreign bodies like bacteria and virus. The increased blood flow may result in redness and heat (for fever). Some of the chemicals can cause fluid leakage into tissues, resulting in swelling, and the process may stimulate nerves and cause pain.
      
Problems arise when the inflammatory response continues after healing is accomplished or if healthy tissue is damaged—when symptoms move from being short-lived, localized and protective to long-term and harmful.
      
Chronic, low grade inflammation is now thought to be the underlying cause of many medical conditions including Alzheimer’s, cancer, diabetes, asthma, and gum/heart/kidney and intestinal disease. Some types of skin ailments (like psoriasis) and arthritis (joint aches) may also be the result of misdirected inflammation, so it’s critical to see a physician if you experience: joint/muscle pain or stiffness, fever/chills, fatigue/loss of energy, headaches, and loss of appetite.
      
Treatment can include anti-inflammatory drugs, activity and stress modification, and physical therapy to maintain joint movement and muscle strength.
      
Life style is critical. The wrong carbohydrates and fats, obesity, inactivity, smoking, high blood pressure, environmental pollutants, and lack of sleep contribute to inflammatory responses.

The Mediterranean diet (high consumption of brightly colored fruits/vegetables, bread/cereals, potatoes, beans/nuts/seeds, and olive oil—a monounsaturated fat with anti-inflammatory properties) is suggested. Visit www.americanheart.org for information.

Blueberries, green tea, seafood, and spices including ginger, turmeric, oregano, garlic and cinnamon are all anti-inflammatory. Consider a multi-vitamin and supplements high in Omega-3’s. Read The Perricone Promise and The Wrinkle Cure by Nicholas Perricone (Warner Books).

Regular, aerobic exercise reduces levels of inflammatory proteins in the body. Thirty minutes of walking or cycling at least five times a week is crucial.