Living Agelessly

Christmas has passed, and I'm struggling with mixed feelings. I feel blessed that my children and grandchild were here to celebrate, that we were able to share good food, thoughtful gifts to show our love, time to play together and have fun, and moments to honor God and remember the reason for this glorious season. 

And it was a white Christmas to boot--a rarity in my part of Texas! But the colorful wrapping paper is in the trash now.  I've put away my mother's china, frozen what's left of the turkey, and said goodbye to my daughter and granddaughter again. They did not get their VISAs, so their trip overseas was delayed again. Though I have adored having more time with them, and I feel so grateful that we had both Thanksgiving and Christmas to celebrate together, it's hard saying goodbye repeatedly, especially when I don't want to say goodbye at all.

My granddaughter Lily is almost five months old now, and she's growing into a great delight. When she smiles, her whole face lights up.  I got her to giggle and saw her roll over for the first time. And just like it's been since she was born, all I had to do was put her on my shoulder, rock gently, and sing near her ear for her to go right to sleep. There is truly nothing sweeter than a baby snuggled under your chin and draped around your shoulders. What a joy it has been to be with her, and how sad it is to be without.

I know I am not alone in this feeling. So many struggle with sadness at the holidays. Financial woes, chronic illness, and, being without any one at all, are just a few reasons.

We all experience sadness. Don't imagine for a minute that anyone escapes it, regardless of how good their lives look on the outside. The mistake we make is to ignore our feelings. In fact, stuffing them leads to far worse health problems including anxiety, sleeplessness, ability to function, and severe depression. 

Purging, on the other hand, is great for you. So how do we purge? Well, begin by acknowledging and expressing the feelings. It is not a show of weakness; in fact, it is courageous to be authentic with people, and they'll respect your for it.

Know when there is a significant change or loss in your life, that you will, not may, experience the Five Basic Stages, and that each one is normal.

1.  Shock/denial

2.  Anger

4.  Asking "What if" questions or making "If only" comments.

5.  Sadness

6.  Acceptance

Acknowledge the stage, talk with those you trust about how you feel, cry if you can, scream if you must, and allow yourself the freedom to move through the stages without guilt or regret.

Let me know what you're feeling.

Happy and Prosperous New Year!