How to Honor Dad

Dear Linda:

       My father says that we’re not to buy him anything for Father’s Day. He’s advised us to deposit into a bank account what we would have spent on him. His attitude typifies a lifetime of putting our interests first. We want to remember the day with more than another tie or v-neck sweater. What can we buy?

Sonny in Arlington

Dear Sonny:

       Perhaps the best solution for honoring your father isn’t something you can buy in a store. Dads deserve some thought, creativity and care. After all, they put their own needs on hold, sometimes indefinitely, worked a lifetime to provide for their families, and sacrificed their own dreams to ensure those of their children.

       Send him a loving email at work the Friday before and tell him you’d like to arrange a day for just the two of you—a picnic at the Botanic Gardens, a game at the ballpark, a car trip to a place he’s never been, or a day doing whatever it is that he loves.

       Fix him his favorite meal, mow his lawn and clean out the garage, and offer to house and pet sit, so he and your mom can have a special weekend or take a trip.

       If your Dad is confined, plant a fruit or flowering bush and hang a bird feeder outside his window. He’ll enjoy the activity and become invested in the growth process.

       As people age, things become far less important. Photos, however, take on greater meaning, particularly for those who struggle with short-term memory loss. Five minutes ago may be a fog, but the distant past is remembered with crystal clarity. Make thematic scrapbooks of various special events through the years or frame a collage of his favorite pictures.

       Instead of a card, write a letter that expresses appreciation in a very specific manner. Highlight special moments you shared and recall the times that made all the difference in your life. He will cherish it forever.