Chipped Off

Dear Linda:

       There was a time when my fingernails were long and lovely. Now they’re short, peeling and brittle. Surely, that’s not because of aging too!

Chipped off

Dear Chipped off:

       Aging is just one explanation for nails that are so dried out that they chip, split or snap off. Thyroid dysfunction, malnutrician, anemea, vitamin/mineral deficiency, and diseases of the lung, kidney and liver that affect the amount of oxygen in the blood are medical reasons for first seeking a physician’s diagnosis and resolution of the problem.

       Water is another culprit. When nails soak, they absorb water and expand 20-25%. When nails are dry, they contract. The more water they’re exposed to, the more they expand and contract, and that weakens them, so if you take long baths or showers, do a lot of swimming or cleaning, particularly with harsh household products, you’ll be prone to brittle nails.

       Certain nail polishes, nail polish removers and nail hardeners, particularly those containing formaldehyde, can be drying. Some low grade products actually have the strength of paint strippers. Use water-based nail products because they are are safer and non-toxic. They can hydrate the nail, allow oxygen exchange, and recondition damaged nails.

       To prevent brittle nails, avoid exposure to strong detergents or wear gloves when cleaning, and use polish removers no more than once a week. Use a lactic acid moisturizer after hand washing. Keep fingernails short to avoid injury, and use emory boards to trim not metal files as they weaken the nail tip. Never bite or peel nails.

       A good diet is critical for healthy nails. Foods that improve nail strength are: milk, liver, salmon, tuna, trout, shrimp and cod liver oil.  Rich in biotin, cauliflower, peanuts and lentils thicken nails. B-complex vitamins and minerals including silica, iron, zinc and calcium are also beneficial.

       Massage nails with castor or vegetable oil to moisturize and stimulate circulation, and give nails a break from daily use of polishes.

Taking Care Without Being Taken

Dear Linda:

       My mother and mother-in-law live in other states and will probably need financial aid in the near future. Though we’re not wealthy and still have a child to put through college, we’d like to help, except both mothers have repeatedly bailed out their adult children. We’re concerned that if we give either mother money, their children will be the beneficiaries. Any suggestions?

Stymied in Benbrook

Dear Stymied:

       The sandwich generation is struggling with multiple challenges, the most prominent of which is still launching their children while having to care for their parents. The pressure of meeting these demands can cause severe financial, physical and emotional problems. Be careful not to take on so much that you drown in the process. You must set boundaries.

       As you are under no obligation to offer support, it’s perfectly reasonable to determine the conditions for the help you’d like to give.  Communication is crucial. Be honest about your concerns. Make it clear that you won’t help if the money’s used for the benefit of others, and put all agreements in writing to ensure clarity and better enforcement.

       After telling your mothers that you’d like to help, do a budget to determine income and anticipated expenses. If there’s a deficit, you could agree to pay directly for those expenses that have created the shortfall. If the parent is then short in a particular month, you’d be right in asking for an accounting. If the deficit is not the result of giving to others, then you could consider additional support. One of your stipulations should be to do a regular audit.

       If assisted living or long-term care is eminent, research legal avenues to protect your mothers’ assets. Visit www.legalhotline.org for the number in your area to call about creating a simple trust that pays a local caregiver or care facility directly. Also make certain that your mothers have given financial Power-of-Attorney to a responsible agent in case they lose the capacity to handle their financial affairs.

Blood Pressure

Dear Linda:

My mother and grandmother suffer from high blood pressure. Does this mean that I will have it also?

Genetically Prone?

Dear Genetically Prone:

       While genetics is a factor associated with high blood pressure (also called hypertension), smoking, alcohol consumption (more than 3-4 ounces of 80-proof per day), caffeine (5 cups per day), obesity, oral contraceptives, a high-salt diet, and stress are major contributors to a problem that nearly one-in-three Americans have.

       Referred to as the “silent killer” because there are no symptoms at disease on-set, many go for years without knowing they have hypertension. When left uncontrolled, it can lead to stroke, heart attack, and heart or kidney failure.

       The best way to know if you have hypertension is have your physician get an accurate measurement of systolic pressure (as the heart beats) over diastolic pressure (as the heart relaxes between beats). Normal blood pressure (the force of blood against the artery walls) is less than 120mmHg systolic and less than 80mmHg diastolic.

       Because there is no cure for hypertension, medication and life style changes are crucial for keeping blood pressure in normal range. Stop smoking (as it also leaches calcium—another contributor to hypertension), minimize caffeine, alcohol and salt consumption, and increase exercise. The American Heart Association recommends 30-60 minutes a day to reduce stress and lose weight that causes heart strain. As little as a 10-pound loss can be beneficial.

       For additional information, contact The American Society of Hypertension at 212-644-0650 or visit www.ash-us.org. Call the American Heart Association at 800-242-8721 (www.americanheart.org) to order its free packet “Understanding and Controlling High Blood Pressure” that includes “Shaking Your Salt Habit”, a guideline for healthy cooking and flavorful recipes that replace salt with other spices.

       Follow the DASH (Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension) diet. Rich in fiber, it contains more electrolytes, potassium, calcium and magnesium than the average diet. Visit the National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute at www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/public/heart/hbp/dash to order one free copy of the diet. Be sure to consult your physician, however, before beginning any new diet or exercise program.

Spiritual Renewal

Dear Linda:

My 82-year-old aunt was deeply religious until the loss of her son. She's angry that her child died before she did, and she's retreated from anything spiritual. Do you have any ideas for getting her back to the church she loved?

Hope

Dear Hope:

Perhaps the most difficult crisis a mother faces is the loss of a child, regardless of their age. The emotions felt are the deepest and most debilitating. Your aunt will need time to grieve and move through the difficult stages that end eventually with acceptance.

Encourage her to see the doctor for a check-up as she is probably struggling with depression. Symptoms to look for are: loss of interest in activities, changes in appetite, weight and sleeping patterns, irritability, feelings of sadness, hopelessness, worthlessness or guilt.

Clinical depression (six months or more) actually changes thinking patterns, affects perceptions, and requires some form of treatment.

Emotional support is crucial. Your aunt needs understanding and empathy, so allow her to vent her anger and express her despair. Listen without judgment or criticism. Friends from church could offer this same solace and become the bridge for her return.

Offer to pray for her, then with her. Scientific studies show that prayer is powerful medicine—positively affecting high blood pressure, heart attacks, headaches and anxiety. Meditative and relaxing, prayer inhibits hormones that flow from adrenal glands in response to stress. An attitude of prayerfulness, caring and compassion, for the soul who needs it, sets the stage for healing.

Bring church to your aunt. Play songs of worship when you visit and leave behind a compilation of her favorites. Invite the pastor to come to her home. The clergy is well-trained and experienced in helping those who suffer loss and need spiritual renewal and inner healing.

Read The Transformation of the Inner Man, The Most Comprehensive Book on Inner Healing Today, and Healing the Wounded Spirit by John and Paula Sandford. Share your insights and be patient. Your loving care will bear fruit.

Teeth Whitening

Dear Linda

       The older I get the darker my teeth have become. I'm trying to decide between tray bleaching at home or an in-office procedure. What do you suggest?

Getting Gray


Dear Getting Gray:

       Teeth darken for a variety of reasons. The good news is that those discolored from aging are most responsive to whitening, but it's important to see a dentist for an examination that includes radiographs and to determine any contraindications like severe tooth sensitivity.

       According to Dr. Susan Hollar of Arlington, “the use of custom-fitted trays is the safest and most cost efficient method for whitening teeth. That process provides the best ultimate result with the longest duration.”

       The technique consists of bleach with 10% carbamide peroxide (approved by the American Dental Association), an application prosthesis made of a thin, clear, soft material, and a treatment regime.

       The regime consists of wearing the loaded prosthesis at night or in 2-4-hour intervals during the day, if sleep is disrupted. Treatment time for normal teeth can be 1-6 weeks, 1-3 months for nicotine-stained teeth, and 2-6 months or longer for tetracycline-stained teeth.

       Because of the desire for faster whitening systems, in-office procedures that combine lasers or a light with an infra-red filter and higher concentrations of hydrogen peroxide have become popular.

       The disadvantage of power bleaching is that it's expensive ($400-800 per visit), usually requires three visits to be successful, and is uncomfortable. The lips are pulled back to expose the teeth and a rubber dam is put in place to protect the gums during the hour-long procedure.

       Another drawback is that lights and lasers dry out the teeth. Temporarily, this result gives the illusion of whiter teeth, but after a day or so of hydration, teeth may revert back to their original color.

       In either process, time required for whitening varies from one patient to another and expectations must be realistic.