Finding the Resolve

Dear Linda:


New Years is coming and like every year before, I’ll make some resolution. Though I always begin with good intentions, sadly I fizzle out after a week or two. Is there any hope of being successful or am I doomed to be a willpower failure?

Disgusted in Saginaw


Dear Disgusted:


The first resolution you should make is to be kinder to yourself. Changing behaviors is a difficult process often impacted by negative history. Expect a series of starts and stops in your development, and you won’t be so discouraged.

Understand that there’s a difference between resolution and willpower. Most resolutions are triggered by emotions, which are neither stable nor constant. When the emotion wanes or dies, so does the desire to persist.

Real willpower is not dependent on emotions. Training of the will requires decision, dedication and determination, and evolves into a powerful habit or ability over time. The resulting self-discipline taps an inner strength that can be exercised whenever required.

Begin by setting a reasonable and specific goal with a measurable outcome. For example, “improved health” is not detailed enough or quantifiable. Deciding to work-out 30 minutes a day four days a week is a realistic goal that will result in “improved health”. Put your goal in writing and post it on your bathroom mirror, refrigerator, dashboard, computer screen, and office wall as a reminder.

Remember you’re replacing an old habit with a new one, so practice and perseverance is crucial. Include incremental action steps. If you can’t exercise 30 minutes in one session, break it down into three-10 minute work-outs. Then double your effort the next week.

Share your goal with someone and create accountability. Though you shouldn’t make lifestyle changes for anyone but yourself, sharing your progress with a confidant can be encouraging. Find a buddy to join in. You’ll be more motivated and have more fun.

Keep a journal to track progress, recognize patterns, and release emotions constructively. Reward yourself as you reach milestones. You’ll deserve it.