Demonstrating Friendship

When the challenges of life happen, people often offer to help. They may bake a cake for a  funeral gathering, cook a casserol for a sick friend or donate money to a catastrophic event collection, but it is a reality that offers of help are often given out of politeness and sustained help is rarely realiazed.

I experienced the rarity after my recent surgery. I have only a son who lives locally. The rest of my family is now either deceased or living far away, and I needed help. My son, of course, was wonderful, but it was my friends who carried me through the three weeks of recovery.

They visited daily and staved off any cabin fever. They shopped and ran errands as I could not drive. They cooked and cleaned. At every turn, I experienced one blessing after another. These are friends who do not give lip service but heart service.

As we grow older, it is imperative to surround ourselves with people who are givers. How do we accomplish that? By bring a giver first. If we are generous with others, they will surely be generous with you. Now, I am not saying that you should do for others for what might come in return, because doing for others is intrinscally a good and valuable endeavor, but we should be mindful that a real support group becomes more and more critical.

I sent thank you notes to my friends who made my recovery so much easier, but words were insufficient to express how deeply I really appreciated not having to ask for help; how much I appreciated friends who anticipated needs and filled them, and how much I appreciated love expressed through action instead of words which are often offers of help without real commitment.

Such generosity was moving and monumental in my life, proof that paying it forward is rewarding on many levels. We can only exist as a member of community. They say it takes a village to raise a child. I say it takes a support group to face aging.