Respecting Your Elders

Just one of the interesting facts that I have learned while visiting the great state of Alaska is that the older generation is treated very differently by the various Native groups. There are some Native groups that hold their elders in very high regard. They treat them with respect, reverence even, and great care.

The younger generation is smart enough to know that their elders are a tremendous source of wisdom and experience, and that there is no point in reinventing the wheel when they already know the tried and true procedures for doing things well.

They also recognize that their elders are the keepers of the stories, the protectors of a family's history, and the bridge between the past and future, and though it may not seem important to a 30 year old to know what those stories are, that changes with maturation.

As we grow older and wiser, we begin to understand why knowing and valuing the past is critical to a family's cohesiveness and continuity in the future. Other Native groups handle the elderly differently. They consider them a "problem" to be dealt with, an obligation to be handled, someone to be facilitated.

Because the aged are less physically capable of pulling their weight and contributing to the clan, they are considered a drain on the reserves with no real value any more. They treat their elders with disdain, disrespect and ultimately exclusion.

A great book written about this ultimate death sentence is Two Old Women by Velma Wallis. The author describes how it's decided and accomplished that the women are left behind to die. What is riveting about this book is what the women do about it. There is of course an unexpected ending and an important lesson to the younger generation.

Are the Native Americans so different than the Americans in the lower 48 states? Of course not. Are you a child or grandchild that values and treats with love and respect the elders in your family or are you so focused on your own needs that you create a superficial, ultimately less reciprocal and certainly less gratifying relationship.

We are called to honor our parents. It is a Commandment. That doesn't mean to tolerate or patronize or minimize our elders. It doesn't mean to treat it as an obligation so that we don't have to bear guilt later. It is a joy to honor and care for those who have cared for you, but it takes wisdom and unselfishness to understand why.