Grandparenting--A True Miracle

You may be wondering why I skipped a week. Well…I've been consumed with spending all the time I can with my first and only grandchild, Lillian Joyce, who was born July 31, 2009 in Dallas, Texas and has become the love of my life.

  I say in my book, Living Agelessly: Creating a Lifestyle for Midlife and Beyond,  "that the relationship a grandparent has with a grandchild is perhaps the closest thing to a real miracle”, and now I know that what I said, even before I had a grandchild, is the absolute truth.

  You get to experience pure love without the responsibility. For the most part, you are free to conspire, have fun, and even “spoil” without fear, and you're able to return them to your children when you’re finally tuckered out from so much enjoyment.  

  I’ve been with Lily almost daily for the last two months, and it has been a pleasure that defies description. She recognizes my voice, calms quickly in my care, falls asleep in my arms, and coos and smiles now when I look into her eyes. And because she looks just like my daughter did, it feels like 31 years has melted away as well. It’s been a great way to feel 28 again.

  When I was preparing to have my own children, I read everything written on how to do it better than the generation before, including natural childbirth, birthing rooms, Dad involved in the delivery, breastfeeding, and preparing all natural foods.

  Unlike my mother’s generation with their epidurals, formula and processed babyfood, I was a member of the Babyboomer generation intent, almost driven, to be the quintessential earth mother. And, we did it! Giving birth was changed dramatically, and the positive impact on the health and development of newborns and children was profound and lasting.

We were the generation responsible for Snuglis being invented to keep babies close to our hearts, car seats to keep them safe while traveling, and pacifiers (if you deigned to use them) with nipples that replicated Mom’s.

  Things are different now. Because doctors are so afraid of being sued for malpractice, “C” sections are epidemic; Moms have to fight for natural childbirth, and the use of drugs during delivery is more common again. 

I am also noticing that this generation is fitting their newborns and young children into an already determined set of plans rather than creating a new world that is specific to their welfare. That was our first consideration when we made decisions, because our children were the center of our world. Today, children seem to be a piece of a bigger picture rather than the whole photo. The jury is still out on which philosophy will be produce more successful adults and citizens.

  Whatever your assessments are about the differences in raising babies, tread lightly. I remember not asking my mother for much advice because she’d done it all so differently from me, but even if the new parents make the same choices you did, be careful about how you parent your adult children. Unless you’re asked, refrain, as much as you can, from giving advice about how they should raise their children. Instead, model the behavior with their children that you hope they will adopt. If you’re really uncomfortable with something, asking them questions is still better than telling them what to do, because that will generally make them defensive. They have to consider the issue before answering your questions, and that's what you want."

  I’ve been asked to make some recommendations about traveling with a young child, and though my experience with that has been limited, I’ve made some observations that I think are worth passing on. I hope they help. 

Ten Top Tips for Traveling with Tots

1. Make sure whatever you buy for your baby is collapsible, convertible and convenient. 

The collapsible pack and play by Graco is comfortable enough to use as a crib, has a vibrator and music for baby’s restless nights, and a great changing table attached with pockets for products. Add a “Womb Sounds Bear” by Dex Products or a “Hartley the Heart Beat Bear” by Mary Meyer, and everyone will get a good night’s rest, even if you’re in a far-off land.

The convertible carseat to have is by Britax.  It accommodates the growth of your baby from infancy on. Best of all, however, is that the seat portion detaches from the base, which stays strapped snuggly in the car, and becomes a mobile carrier and seat for your child when you reach your destination.

The most convenient form of feeding is breast milk. The "Hooter Hider" is a great product for feeding discretely, and it tucks easily into the diaper bag. If you need to transport milk, either breast milk or already made-up formula, consider freezing first and transporting in a good cooler that can also hold healthy snacks that need refrigeration. Medela has a great set of small refill bottles that can also be kept in the freezer for the occasional bottle for the breastfed baby, and Sassy has a great plastic, sectioned container that stores pre-measured amounts of powdered formula for bottles on the go. 

2. Always have at least six, gallon-size, zip-lock freezer bags (much stronger than plastic trash bags) tucked in your diaper bag. They can hold dirty diapers, accumulated trash, and items you need at your fingertips. Have one bag filled with travel size products you will need—toiletries for the baby (shampoo, lotion, baby oil), diaper rash ointment, thermometer, saline drops and nose suction bulb, Tide or Oxy-clean spot remover stick, and more wipes than you think you could ever use. Bring quarters and a sealed plastic bag of laundry soap for a laundry matt if you need to use one, and liquid soap to do laundry in the sink.  

3. Prepare a first-aid kit. Be sure to take any prescription medications that your baby requires, even if only on occasion. Fill out an emergency sheet containing contact names and numbers and your child's health information, including the names of any medications taken, so it's handy if needed.

4.  Take a hat to protect your baby from the sun or from the cold. Use sunscreen of at least SPF 15, with both UVA and UVB protection.  Apply in small amounts to the face and back of hands in babies under six months and wherever skin is exposed in older babies. Take socks to protect your baby from the cold weather and the air-conditioning. 

5. Think in terms of light layers for warmth—huge, light-weight swaddle blankets by Aden and Anais that can used as a many-layered, night cover, a large floor covering for the baby, or a quick covering for the car set or shopping cart. Sleep sacks are great for travel because diaper changing is a breeze. 

6. Don’t get bogged down with too many toys.  A new environment offers up lots of amusements. 

7. 
Take a photo album with pictures of the people you plan to visit. Your tot will be familiar with their names and faces before you arrive. You will have alleviated fear of strangers and created excitement.

8.  If you are too far away from your destination to take much  with you and you can afford it, consider a service that allows you select what you need and delivers it to your destination before you arrive. Babies TravelLite.com will deliver diapers, wipes, formula, bottles, food, bathing supplies and countless other items your baby will need while on your family vacation. The prices are competitive, and they handle special needs.

9. Divide up specific tasks with your partner according to strengths. Fulfill those agreements consistently and without being asked; you will minimize resentment and exhaustion. 

10. Don’t over-schedule. Stagger busy and mellow days, and take time to enjoy each moment.