I have a daughter who’s getting married, a usually sane wife who seems to have gone mad, and a live-in mother who’s generally sweet but is now unbelievably irate. I’m drowning in female hormones and feeling overwhelmed.
Going Down for the Count
Dear Going Down for the Count:
Don’t be hard on yourself. Any of those situations would be an emotional and physical drain. Handling all three without help would make you Superman. You’ll need to simplify and share responsibilities.
Begin with a check-up and tell your physician what’s going on. Talking is therapeutic. Your physician can determine if you are suffering any physical or emotional trauma from too much stress—including high blood pressure or depression. Medication could be in order. Your doctor may suggest more exercise—a stress reliever, one method for releasing feel-good endorphins, and a constructive reason for escaping the craziness regularly.
Take Mom to the doctor, too, as a senior’s health can change quickly. If she’s fine physically, then the problem may be emotional. She may be feeling ignored. Include her in the wedding arrangements. If possible, give her a job. It will make her feel invested and important. Schedule a change of scenery during the busiest time—a visit to someone that she’s involved in planning with a friend or sibling. Aging parents need a change, and the primary caregiver needs regular respite from that role (two weeks is a minimum for rejuvenation).
If a trip’s not possible, consider an Adult Day Care program for a variety of support services offered in a safe environment. Companionship and attention may be all she needs. Visit the National Adult Day Services at www.nadsa.org for information.
Hire a wedding planner. Resorts, hotels and some restaurants offer, as an included service, a coordinator who’ll simplify decision-making and oversee implementation. Visit www.coordinatorscorner.com for listings in your area of everything from consultants to caterers. Your wife will love you for it.
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