Visiting Nurses

Dear Linda:

       My sweet granny is disabled and can't leave her home. I've taken care of her for several years, but her physical problems now require professional nursing. What are my options?
Devoted Granddaughter

Dear Devoted Granddaughter:

       Historically, younger generations considered it an honor and responsibility to care for the elders in their family. This is no longer customary and the increasing number of people left alone in nursing homes is sad evidence. It's wonderful to hear about a grandchild with your level of devotion.

       You have many options for securing visiting nurses--Home Health and Staffing/Private Duty agencies, Hospice, Pharmaceutical and Infusion Therapy Companies and Registries.

       Home Health (yellow pages under that heading) agencies are regulated, supervised, and deliver a variety of services. For cases requiring more than one specialist, a caregiving team visits. These agencies investigate and supervise personnel, and assume all liability. Visit www.medicare.gov for information specific to your area.

       Hospice also offers a team approach-skilled professionals and trained volunteers providing medical, psychological and spiritual care for patients diagnosed as not-thriving or terminally-ill. Call the National Hospice Organization at 800-658-8898.

       Pharmaceutical and Infusion Therapy companies deliver drugs, equipment and professional services to patients receiving intravenous or nutritional therapies through tubes. Pharmacists with these companies prepare solutions and arrange delivery to patients. Nurses teach patients self-administration.

       The Visiting Nurse Association of America (VNAA) offers skilled care to every age group with specialties including psychiatric, palliative, wound, continence, and hospice. Visit www.vnaa.org for local chapters.

       Staffing and Private-duty agencies provide clients with nursing, homemaking and companion services. Most states don't require licensing, so ask for references and check the Better Business Bureau.

       Registries (yellow pages under nurses) serve as employment agencies matching nurses with clients for a fee. Not licensed or regulated, Registries aren't required to do background checks. Clients select provider, supervise work, and comply with regulations regarding payroll tax and social security withholding.

       Contact the National Association of Home Care at 202-547-7424 or visit www.nahc.org for additional information.

Overwhelmed Wedding Dad

Dear Linda:
 
       I have a daughter who’s getting married, a usually sane wife who seems to have gone mad, and a live-in mother who’s generally sweet but is now unbelievably irate. I’m drowning in female hormones and feeling overwhelmed.
Going Down for the Count

Dear Going Down for the Count:

      
Don’t be hard on yourself. Any of those situations would be an emotional and physical drain. Handling all three without help would make you Superman. You’ll need to simplify and share responsibilities.
      
Begin with a check-up and tell your physician what’s going on. Talking is therapeutic. Your physician can determine if you are suffering any physical or emotional trauma from too much stress—including high blood pressure or depression. Medication could be in order. Your doctor may suggest more exercise—a stress reliever, one method for releasing feel-good endorphins, and a constructive reason for escaping the craziness regularly.
      
Take Mom to the doctor, too, as a senior’s health can change quickly. If she’s fine physically, then the problem may be emotional. She may be feeling ignored. Include her in the wedding arrangements. If possible, give her a job. It will make her feel invested and important. Schedule a change of scenery during the busiest time—a visit to someone that she’s involved in planning with a friend or sibling. Aging parents need a change, and the primary caregiver needs regular respite from that role (two weeks is a minimum for rejuvenation).
      
If a trip’s not possible, consider an Adult Day Care program for a variety of support services offered in a safe environment. Companionship and attention may be all she needs. Visit the National Adult Day Services at www.nadsa.org for information.
      
Hire a wedding planner. Resorts, hotels and some restaurants offer, as an included service, a coordinator who’ll simplify decision-making and oversee implementation. Visit www.coordinatorscorner.com for listings in your area of everything from consultants to caterers. Your wife will love you for it.

Preventing Fires

Dear Linda,
       I moved my mom into a high rise with other senior citizens. I’m worried about fire. What precautions can we take?



The National Fire Protection Association reports that the number of residential fire deaths has decreased as the number of smoke detectors in homes has increased, so have the building manager attest to the proper number of detectors in the units.

Be sure your mother’s detectors work well. If they’re older than 10 years (battery operated or wired into electrical system), components aren’t reliable, and they should be replaced. If they’re new, test and vacuum monthly as dust impairs effectiveness. Replace batteries yearly.

National fire safety standards recommend a minimum of one detector on each level of the home, one detector outside bedroom area, and one in each bedroom. The detector outside bedroom area should be installed where it can be heard through a closed door.

Senior citizens are at greater risk to die in a fire than the rest of the population (more than doubling over age 75) because their thinner skin is more vulnerable, their reflexes are slower, and they’re more likely to be on medication that makes them drowsy, particularly deadly if the older person combines medication with alcohol or smoking (the leading cause of fires among seniors).

Smokers shouldn’t smoke when tired or around flammable objects. They should use deep ashtrays and check furniture for embers that can smolder for hours before bursting into flame.

Keep glasses and a phone on the bedside table, and have an escape plan. The cleanest air will be 12 inches above the floor, so practice crawling to the nearest safe exit (with a wet handkerchief over the mouth and nose). Memorize number of doors from home to lighted stairwell (Doors can be counted if it’s too dark to see). Never use elevators.

Contact the neighborhood fire station to inspect unit and the building, and for more safety recommendations. Ask them also if there are any local programs that give away smoke and carbon monoxide detectors. Your local fireman are not only a great source of information, are at the ready to check for gas leaks and to see if your equipment is reliable, but they are also the heroes who risk their lives when called to extinguish a fire. Show your appreciation to these fine men and women.

Loved this article by David K. Williams in Forbes

"It’s a brand-new year and now is the time when everyone is resolving to improve something about themselves. Rather than making a big resolution with no concrete plan on how to make it happen, why not start taking steps to change your heart instead? If you can change your way of thinking, you’ll be more likely to make big changes in your life that will actually stick instead of being forgotten by the spring.

Spend the next seven weeks changing your attitude and I promise this year will be filled with opportunities you never noticed in previous years. Focus on one new attribute each week:

Week 1: Gratitude:  Write seven things you are grateful for. Demonstrate your gratitude for at least one item on the list each day.

Week 2: Courage:  Write seven things that cause you fear or stress. Work each day to remove the illusion of fear from at least one item on the list.

Week 3: Commitment: Write seven things that have taken root in you as a result of walking in gratitude and releasing fear. Commit to creating a new path at work based on these discoveries.

Week 4: Loyalty: Write seven things you are willing to sacrifice to show your loyalty to support and uplift others. Discover and implement at least one item each day.

Week 5: Trust:  Write seven areas where your trust for yourself and others has developed and grown. Nurture each item one day at a time.

Week 6: Belief: Write seven new things you have found to believe in about yourself. Strive to increase your belief in at least one of these areas each day.

Week 7: Respect: Write the names of seven people you respect more than anyone else. Pattern your behaviors and attitudes after theirs to see what happens, focusing on one person each day.

What Can You Expect When You Reach the End of Week 7?:  You will likely lose the desire to judge others harshly and instead discover significant changes that need to occur within your heart and mind. You will no longer need to demand credit for everything you do in order to demonstrate your value to others. This journey isn’t about beating yourself up. It’s about making small improvements day by day until you are surprised to find yourself standing far above where you used to be."