Too Late for Sex?????

Dear Linda:

    I’m a long-time widower who’s healthy and very much alive at 83. My grown children are appalled that I’m still sexually active. How can I convince them that there are benefits beyond the obvious?

Frisky in Frisco


Dear Frisky:

    Society has been brainwashed to believe that sex is exclusive to the younger generation—that only they’re attractive or healthy enough to engage in this level of intimacy. Babyboomers, in particular, are dispelling this myth. People are living, working and playing longer than previous generations. They are active and healthy, and refuse to give up emotional and physical gratification.

     Growing older doesn’t diminish the longing to love or be loved, nor does it preclude the need for the expression of that feeling. Desire doesn’t disappear with age, and being over 60 doesn’t mean being done with sex. In fact, more and more people are just beginning new relationships in their 60’s and 70’s.

     The benefits of an active sex life are numerous. Like any other exercise, muscles are toned (including the heart), bones are strengthened, and stamina is increased. Brain function is dramatically improved and because of increased levels of endorphins, body aches and pains are relieved, stress levels are decreased, and mood is enhanced. Skin appearance is rejuvenated because of increased circulation. Even the immune system is fortified. Couples who sustain an active sex life tend to live longer and happier lives.

     A recent study of married couples showed that 89% in the 60-65 age range and 30% in the over-80 age group are still sexually active, particularly now that there are various drugs and treatments for problems with sexual performance. Read Sex & Love for Grownups: A No-Nonsense Guide to a Life of Passion by Sally Foley.

     It’s important to have a thorough physical before beginning any new activity. Ask for guidance about healthy sexual functioning, the avoidance of transmitted diseases, and contraception. The need for this information doesn’t end at 60 either.