Abusing the Aged

This week screen legend Mickey Rooney, now 90 years old, testified before Congress that he had been abused by a caregiver and stolen from by a family member.

Even those we imagine are immune from the problems of the common man are vulnerable when they grow old, and it is a lesson to us all that in the end we can be very much alone in protecting our ourselves and our interests when we are the least able.

Just as several generations living under one roof is no longer the norm, the day for depending on children to care for aging parents is fast becoming a thing of the past as well.

To avoid being at risk or taken advantage of, early planning is paramount. It is critical to be prepared emotionally and financially for the future and to safeguard your precious resources even from family members who might not have your best interests at heart.

The key is to do this planning before you are sick, vulnerable or dependent, and you must create legal documents that make your wishes clear. Also be sure to choose professionals you trust to enforce those wishes. Refer to my book Living Agelessly for the documents you need and the legal resources available.

If you begin to have concerns about your health, consider all your options immediately. Research in-home care services and visit assisted living centers that ultimately offer nursing services, and remember that the best facilities have waiting lists. Decide what you want and make arrangements early. Do not wait until your health fails. Protect yourself in every way you can before you become vulnerable.

Elder abuse is rampant in our society. We should be safeguarding ourselves and watching out for others. As a result of Mickey Rooney’s testimony, Senator Herb Kohl of Wisconsin has proposed that an Office of Elder Justice be established within the Justice Department, and though I am not usually a proponent of more government, I think we should all support any effort to resolve this crisis and protect the aged.

Don't miss reading this true story below.

Crabby Old Woman

When an old lady died in the geriatric ward of a small hospital near Dundee Scotland, it was believed that she had nothing left of any value.

Later, when the nurses were going through her meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Ireland.

The old lady's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the North Ireland Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on her simple, but eloquent, poem. And this little old Scottish lady, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this "anonymous" poem.

What are you thinking,..... When you're looking at me?
A crabby old woman,............. Not very wise,
Uncertain of habit,.............. With faraway eyes?
Who dribbles her food,............. And makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice,..... "I do wish you'd try!"
Who seems not to notice,....... The things that you do,
And forever is losing,............. A stocking or shoe?
Who, resisting or not,.............. Lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding,....... The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking?.... Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse,.....You're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am,............... As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding,......... As I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of ten,...........With a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters,.............. Who love one another.
A young girl of sixteen,...... With wings on her feet.
Dreaming that soon now,.......... A lover she'll meet.
A bride soon at twenty,.......... My heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows,........... That I promised to keep.
At twenty-five now,.............. I have young of my own,
Who need me to guide,........ And a secure, happy home.
A woman of thirty,................ My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other,............. With ties that should last.
At forty, my young sons,........ Have grown and are gone,
But my man's beside me,........... To see I don't mourn
At fifty once more,............. Babies play round my knee,
Again we know children,........ My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me,......... My husband is dead,
I look at the future,............ I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing,....... Young of their own,
And I think of the years,....... And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old woman,............. And nature is cruel;
'Tis jest to make old age,............ Look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles,............. Grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone,.............. Where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass,....... A young girl still dwells,
And now and again,............. My battered heart swells.