A Clean Slate

The new year brings with it the promise of fresh beginnings and the resolve to do better--getting healthy, spending money more wisely, and achieving loftier goals.

I want to add something else to that list. It is creating and restoring relationships.

As I've grown older, I've found making new friends and keeping old friends is more difficult. Some of my very best friends now live all over the country, and it's tough to share the nitty-gritty of my life with someone I speak with on occasion now rather than regularly.

Unlike generations before when extended family members lived around the corner, and neighbors knew each other well, and your best friend was one for life, this generation is on the move. The legacy of our more mobile society has been the separation of family members and dear friends. I don't know about you, but I think it's a great loss.

What to do? Well, we can't stop people from taking better jobs elsewhere, or from retiring to better climates, but we can keep putting ourselves out there in an effort to meet new people, and we can cherish the relationships we have.

Too often we let a comment that has felt hurtful (even if it was not intended to be) or even the smallest slight damage a good relationship. Life is truly too short. We need to get over it and do what we can to preserve not destroy.

And we need to get out there to meet new people. Though it's easier to stay home and complain about too much quiet, it's not good for us. Take a class, join a group, and ensure you meet with your friends on a regular basis.

In addition to individual friends whom I value greatly, I am involved in a church life group, a card group, a dinner group, and a book club that all gather regularly. All the different members of these groups, who have been meeting for years, are wonderful--bright, generous and fun, and the groups all meet different needs.

I share my life space with the people in my card and life groups, and they are people I can call in a pinch. My dinner group dedicates itself to cultural betterment and plain old fun, and my book group challenges my intellect. I feel so grateful for all of them.

Friends add the layers to our life that we must have, particularly as our children grow up, move out and begin their own lives. They offer understanding, empathy and the comfort that comes from being with others who are facing the same challenges.

Pick up the phone and either mend bridges or polish tarnished
relationships. Don't let an important friendship go. They are too precious.

May your New Year be filled with the blessing of many good friends.