More and more I've been noticing that baby boomers generally are struggling in their relationships with their children. I've got more friends than I can count who are either estranged from their adult children, terrorized by their threats to curtail relationships, or walking on egg shells in an effort not to ruffle their delicate feathers.
Where did the day go that children treated their parents with respect, deference and attentiveness, if for no other reason than to repay the sacrifices made on their behalf. One would think 30, 40 and 50 year-old adult children would be concerned about those who gave them their life and their start.
What caused the shift in attitude and what are the ramifications? I think the baby boomers were so intent on "giving their children every opportunity", even at the expense of their own happiness and security, that they spawned a generation who expect to be obliged at every turn.
The consequence has been children who feel entitled evolving into adults who feel entitled--entitled to do and say whatever they like, and entitled to create distance, and entitled to approval whether they deserve it or not.
What is a parent to do? Well...I've seen all the possible reactions. Parents who keep their distance in response. Parents who keep pursuing, hoping their children will wake up, and parents who comply with every directive, reasonable or not. Perhaps none are the best options. Perhaps we have to let them go, allow them to experience the hard lessons in life, get some perspective and grow in maturity, understanding and wisdom.
Any suggestions out there?
It's hard enough to give adult children distance. When your adult children have children, it's downright agonizing. How can you allow your children to experience some hard lessons when your grandchildren will also suffer? It is quite a dilemma. I have no answers.
ReplyDeleteIt is tough, but I think we have to "let go and let God". Maybe all we can really do is hope and pray for their protection and safety.
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