New Symptom for Identifying a Stroke

     Before my dad died, he had five mini strokes. Each one stole a little more of his life--first his ability to walk well, then his ability to stand without falling, then his ability to swallow, and finally his ability to remember.

     It was heartbreaking to watch him decline over the five years before his death. Life, for him, had become more than a struggle. It had become a burden.

     Having a stroke is life changing. Not only do we want to do all we can to avoid having one, but also we need to seek immediate treatment if we do have one, because the consequences can be mitigated.

     New information is out about how to know if a person is having or has had a stroke. If you or your loved cannot do the following, you must immediately go to the emergency room. Your speed in doing this can not only save a life, but it can also prevent the terrible consequences of a stroke left untreated. It is important not to second guess or take chances. Get treatment fast.

STROKE:  Remember the first three letters....S.T.R. 

S * Ask the individual to SMILE.
T * Ask the person to REPEAT A SIMPLE SENTENCE, and it must be coherent. An example would be...It is a lovely day.
R * Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.

* New Sign of a Stroke 

Ask the person to Stick Out Their Tongue

If the tongue is crooked (goes to one side or the other), that is also an indication of a stroke. 

What's So Good About Helping Others?

I've had the good fortune to travel throughout our great country, to Canada, Mexico and most of Europe. Despite how spectacular each trip abroad has been, when I walk through the DFW international airport, I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude to be home, in America, truly the greatest country in the world--not just because we are afforded more rights than any other country; not just because we have the freedom to be and do whatever we want if we work hard enough, and not just because, even the least of us, enjoy amenities that 3/4 of the world can not even imagine (though all of that is true), but because we are generous too. Look at what we do for countries in immediate crisis like Haiti and what we have done constantly for countries, whenever they've been in need. ...and about that I have been ambivalent. When other countries or its citizens have criticized America (including those we've helped), my inclination is to say that we should close our borders, stop exporting and live off our own land, and just take care of our own, but when a cooler head prevails, I know that is neither good for us nor possible. Much of America's success is predicated on its generosity of resources, intellect and spirit. We are the country with a heart and soul. What is the lesson? How does helping others help ourselves? When we focus on others in need, we stop focusing on ourselves. Our problems feel less significant, and life has a different perspective. We don't have time to worry about ourselves when we're concerned about others. When we give to others, we are feel better physically. Feel-good endorphins are released and stressed related hormones reduced. Giving to others is healthy. What's happened in Haiti shows us all just how fragile life is, and catastrophe knows no boundaries. What can happen to one of us could happen to any of us. When we invest in others, the greatest dividend is that someone may help us when we're in trouble--not if but when, because the human condition is basically the same for each of us, and trouble is a certainty. We just don't know where or when. Helping others comes in many forms. My book Living Agelessly includes a variety of volunteer opportunities, some so intriguing and interesting that who's benefitting most won't be entirely clear.

Making Memories

I shared a love of baseball with my dad. We regularly watched or attended games and discussed all the greats--Babe Ruth, Yogi Berra, Whitey Ford, Roger Maris and, of course, Mickey Mantle. For several hours, every weekend during the spring and early summer, I alone had my dad's attention and company, and it is still one of my fondest memories. 

So, it was amazing that I grew up and became the Editor-in-Chief of the only family-authorized, collector's edition written about Mickey Mantle just after his death. In the process of producing that magazine, I resurrected springtime in the 50's and 60's, recalled cold cokes in dripping, green bottles, tasty hot dogs, the likes of which could only be bought at the stadium, and fresh-faced players who hadn't yet been tarnished by life.

I had the chance to interview some of the very stars I'd heard about all my life. It was unbelievably exciting to talk with Yogi, Whitey and the rest, but even more importantly, it was thrilling to tell my dad about those interviews.

How proud I was when the magazine hit the newsstands, and how proud he was that I had dedicated it to him. He never tired of talking about how I tracked down the players or their friends, or how I found the photos I included, or what it took to create the stories that I wrote about his favorite time in history and mine.

My dad is gone now, but those memories of my youth and the memories of what we shared as adults lives on. They are precious to me. 

My dad and I had gotten to know each other in a way that was very different from our parent/child relationship. From that relationship, I experienced his heart. From the other, I experienced his joy.

Finding out about and sharing in someone's joy takes commitment and time, but the dividends are invaluable. We often miss that chance with our aging parents, as we bustle through our own lives. It's a terrible mistake, though, because giving time to that relationship is often far more a gift to ourselves.

Finding Happiness

     On December 31, we wish great happiness for the coming year to our family members, good friends and even complete strangers, if we're celebrating in places like Times Square.  We make resolutions to be better, look better or do better, all in an effort to be happier. To feel happy, some even engage in destructive behaviors like gambling or taking drugs and alcohol.

     We are a happiness driven society, and society has even defined for us what happiness looks like--money, beautiful things, good looks, success, power, and lots of relationships, so why is it surprising that when people don't have those things, they feel dissatisfied, unsuccessful and unhappy.

     Is society's definition of happiness right? Well...it is certainly easier to live if we don't have to worry about money, and it is pleasant to live among beautiful things. We do want to look and feel our best, and we stave off loneliness when we have people in our life who care about us. And we want to believe that we've not wasted our life---that we've been productive and made a valuable contribution.

     There are people who have all that society dictates. We watch their seemingly perfect lives and often covet what they have. Then, we're shocked when they risk or ruin it all. We have only to look at California or Washington to see evidence that money, fame, power or beauty does not ensure happiness.

      Then there are others we know who don't seem to have much. They struggle physically or financially. They've had to deal with tragedies or they're very much alone. But somehow they manage to stay contented and even uplifted. What's the disconnect? 

     I talk a lot about how to be happy in my book Living Agelessly, so I thought I'd include some of that information.

"Because life is an unfolding process, feelings—even the most horrific ones—are transient, so take care not to be led by them. Decide to be in charge. It is critical to put feelings into perspective, change thought patterns, and choose your actions and reactions. Take pride in the accomplishments of the past and consider them the foundation of the present. Then appreciate the present, warts and all, for without the trauma, we wouldn’t recognize the joy.

Don’t obsess about failures. It can result in depression and even debilitation. Evaluate failures so that you can learn from them, but then let them go—a new habit that you can develop and will eventually embrace (although in the beginning you might not think that’s possible). Each time a negative thought leaps to mind, choose to replace it with one that’s positive. Have at your finger tips index cards with quotes, scriptures, or excerpts from books that inspire, uplift, and regenerate your thought process.

Words are powerful. The ones you utter shape your memories, so choose your adjectives carefully when you describe your experiences, as they will be what you’ll recall. Even if life has been difficult (and for whom isn’t that true?), searching for what is positive is crucial. An example would be; “I have survived so many challenges in the last 50 years and learned so much,” rather than “My life has been one horrible problem after another.”

You will alter your life by altering your attitude. Evidence is mounting that a positive attitude not only affects the quality of and contentment with life, but also delays the aging process."

So what is the secret of happiness? I think....

• it requires putting the past into perspective, forgiving others, and not taking anything, including ourselves, quite so seriously. 
• we must choose our actions (rather than react) to whatever we face, and that those actions should be constructive.
• we have to focus only on the positive.
• and that we should be grateful each day for all that is good in our life. We can't be miserable, if we are focusing what's wonderful.

     I want make a wish for us all, and that is that we have peace and contentment in the coming year. I think that when we create that in our life, we will find happiness!