Getting Ready for Visits with Grandchildren

Dear Linda:
     
My grandchildren, ages 6 and 8, are coming from across the country to visit us at our lake house. It’s been decades since I’ve child-proofed. What precautions should I take?

A Happy Grandma

Dear Grandma:

For young children, there’s nothing more exciting than a visit with grandparents. Times of pampering and indulgence, novelty and undivided attention, they are often the sweetest remembrances of childhood.
     
To ensure that all goes well, it’s critical to take precautions particularly by water—tubs, pools and lakes. Don’t ever leave children unattended. If you must go, even for a moment, so should they. Insist that children always wear U.S. Coast Guard approved life vests not floaties, particularly on boats or along the shoreline where they could be washed away. Always keep rescue equipment (i.e. life preserver or shepherd’s hook) and a telephone near.
     
Tender skin must be protected. Slather children in sunscreen with at least a 15 SPF several times a day, even when it’s cloudy. Carry a bottle in the car for unexpected stops. Outfit them in brimmed hats and sunglasses. They’ll protect, and ones bought with you become special souvenirs.
     
If you take children to a playground, don’t let them wear anything with drawstrings (scarves, necklaces, belts or backpacks), and avoid straps, like on a helmet. Choose an age appropriate playground with soft surfaces like wood chips and shredded rubber, preventing falls on concrete, asphalt and even packed dirt.
     
Have children wear protective equipment (wrist guards, knee and elbow pads) when skating or riding a bicycle. Helmets reduce risk of head injury by 85% and are required by law.
     
Lock-up alcohol, medicine, household cleaning and garden chemicals, matches, lighters, candles and all fire arms. Keep knives, scissors and hot plates out of reach. Put plug guards into sockets and around fires and heaters.
     
Keep a well-stocked, first aid kit and a fire extinguisher handy. Visit www.safekids.org for more tips and safely celebrate National Children’s Day.

The Positive Effects of Being Grateful

Dear Linda:
     
My father was married for 52 years, had a wonderful career, and fathered well three children. Five strokes stole is ability to walk, swallow, and read—his favorite pastime. I’d like to help him stay positive, but his present condition seems to eclipse all that was good in his life. How can we refocus and find something for which to be grateful?

Sad for my Dad:

Dear Sad:

Though you can’t fully grasp the magnitude of your father’s feelings, treat him with as much empathy as possible. People are far more receptive to change when their present circumstance is understood and validated.
     
Your father’s losses have been terrible, so expect some of the same grief stages people experience when a love one dies—denial, anger and depression, emotions that can hinder making even the most beneficial changes. Be sure he’s had a complete examination and that appropriate medication has been prescribed.
     
Prevent isolation and inactivity. Discourage too much sleep, daydreaming, and watching TV. They are as much an escape as alcohol or drugs. Taking action instead is the best remedy.
     
Begin projects that don’t require the skills he’s lost—a new hobby, a coin or stamp collection, puzzles and crafts. Regularly attend worship services and take field trips to museum, the theater, or the library, where you can both listen to and discuss books on tape.
     
Set the example for gratitude for your dad. Express how much you appreciate all he’s done for you. Be very specific about how his help and guidance has impacted your life. Then ask him to share his stories—the mentors in his life, the pivotal moments, the best and most memorable times. Suggest writing them down in a gratitude journal, and read them aloud periodically. Read Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach for inspiration.
     
Be sure to honor his past by writing letters of gratitude to family and friends. You will find that expressing appreciation and focusing on the blessings will impact attitude, create a sense of well-being, and produce peace of mind.

Honor the Mother who Sacrificed her Life to Raise You

Dear Linda:

       My aged mother raised alone six children, who are now scattered all over the world. We don't see her much but would like to do something special for Mother's Day. Have any suggestions?

In a Quandary

Dear In a Quandary:

       If people really considered it, the job description for the role of mother (on-call 24 hours a day, seven days a week for no salary or health benefits) would send most intelligent people running for the hills.

       For their constant care and self-sacrifice, Moms ask little in return—respect, appreciation and remembrance. That can't happen, though, if they're left alone. Perhaps it’s time to ask your mom how she’d feel about living (or having extended visits) with her children. If she’s interested, devise a reasonable schedule for moving her from one child to another. The honorable responsibility for her care and attention would be divided, and the benefits, particularly for grandchildren, of multi-generational living innumerable. What a gift to all.

       Consider planning a family reunion (all her children and their families) and give her a video of the event. An embroidered or calligraphic family tree and a family portrait for her wall would be valued gifts, so be sure to have a photographer present.

       Visit www.allmothersdaygifts.com, www.everythingmothersday.com and www.theholidayspot.com/mothersday (or call 800-326-6626) for a variety of lovely keepsakes and personalized gifts.

       You might also give her certificates for a day of pampering—a manicure, pedicure and hair styling at her favorite salon, and facials, wraps and massages at a spa. Then whisk her off to a theater district for a live production, dress-up dining, and a hotel stay, or to a charming cottage or quaint Bed & Breakfast for a weekend of sightseeing or scrap booking.

       If she's not able to travel long distances, take her to brunch before church, or lunch and antiquing at a tea room. Remember to buy her a corsage to wear for her special day, and that your time and attention is the most meaningful and best remembered gift.